You’re Our Favorite

Showing some love to our fans, followers, and members. You’re Our Favorite!

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No Color Barriers

We gave our Facebook fans an opportunity to share their experiences with shadeism. We selected two articles to post on our blog page. The first article, written by Brandy Hudson Morton, exposes that shadeism has no color barriers. It’s a great read and please leave a reply with your thoughts about her experiences.

The Vine Event Planning
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No Color Barriers

The urban dictionary defines shadeism as “to judge or be against a person because of their skin tone rather than their race”. A lot of people think of shadeism as an issue amongst people of color. I would challenge that thought and say that shadeism is a form of discrimination that exists in all races of all nations. A review of history will show that fair or pale skin has long been judged as the more beautiful or sought after pigmentation. However, my experience has not been quite the same in my own race. My whole life I have dealt with issues of racism, beginning as far back as I can remember learning to talk. While racism was always a form of shadeism in the fact that many people within my race viewed our race as somehow superior than others; my experiences solely with shadeism did not begin until I was in middle school. In middle school, it was like a reverse of history. The people of my own race, the people who looked most like me, suddenly wanted to be darker and spent a lot of money to get tan. I have always had a fair complexion, even compared to my family members. In fact when my children first started talking about skin color they both wanted to know why I was peach and everyone else was tan. In the seventh grade, I felt pressured to try to fry my skin to become tan as well. Red headed freckled girls do not tan well, in case you were wondering. I would burn, peel and be in pain only to try again. I even covered myself in baby oil and laid in the sun until I had sun poisoning and became sick. It wasn’t until I was older that I realized I would forever be pale. Even now, after so many years, people still tell me I need a tan.

My more serious experiences with shadeism though occurred when I had children. My children are of mixed race and even among mixed people; which we all are mixed people in one form or another, shadeism runs deep. My first child was dark. As she got older, she had trouble with her identity. People of color did not accept her because she was not dark enough. White people did not accept her because she was a person of color. I, as her mother, according to her, could not possibly understand because I wasn’t like her. Even today, she is divided because she felt she had to choose a side of the spectrum to relate more to, even though neither side accepts who she is. My son is lighter and most people assume he is white or Mexican, yet he still can’t be mine because he is not like me either. The three of us together are quite the spectrum or spectacle depending on who you ask. It is odd how different their skin tones are, yet even ten years apart, they ask the same questions about their friends and skin color. When my daughter was in first grade, she never before considered (at least not out loud) that she was different from her parents or her friends. I will never forget the day she came home crying because her favorite friend wasn’t allowed to play with her anymore because she was brown and her friend was not. My son was in the third grade. It was 12 years after my daughter’s first incident when he started asking me why his friends didn’t think I was his mother. I picked him up from school and one little boy told me I couldn’t be my son’s mother because my son was tan and I was not. Then there is always the story of how my children wanted to connect my freckles so I would be the same color as them. There are so many more stories, but I think you can see my point.

My prayer for us all is that not only will we realize that color and shade does not make a person any less valuable, but that we realize that no matter what our color or shade, we all have similar struggles. The sooner we stop judging each other and segregating ourselves, and start helping each other, the more freedom we will obtain. We may have different skin tones, but we don’t have different hearts. God called us to love one another, he didn’t say “love one another based on skin tones”.

Brandy Morton Hudson – Guest Blogger

Click here to join our Google+ Community, The Vine Events Chat Cafe, to see what others are saying about shadeism.

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The Vine Events Chat Cafe

We’re Growing – New Google + Community

We want to invite you to join our Google + Community at The Vine Events Chat Cafe. This is a new community where we discuss social issues with the intent of moving forward personally and collectively on the issues. Our current discussion topic is shadeism.  Shadeism (also known as colorism) is discrimination based on skin tones among members of the same community. We hosted a screening dialogue of documentary short “Shadeism” on February 16th and we’re giving those who couldn’t attend an opportunity to contribute to the discussion. So, click here and join the conversation!

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The Vine Event Planning
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View “Shadeism” new documentary extension trailer below. Click here to contribute to their current production campaign.

 

Chat Cafe – My Sister’s Keeper Part 2

The Vine Events Chat CafeYesterday, we hosted our first The Vine Events Chat Cafe. Focusing on “trust”, we continued our discussion about why some women can’t get along with one another. We addressed three areas shared by our Facebook Fan Discussion that have the potential to shape our perspectives and therefore influence our trust.

1. Traditional Teachings – One of our Facebook Fans, kicked off our online discussion by challenging women to evaluate their ideologies. Her challenge introduced our first trust influence “traditional teachings”. Our Chat attendee, Kay Wright, shared her experience of growing up in the Christian Church and witnessing first hand how women were not allowed to serve in certain capacities. The double standard between men and women reflected for her that women could not be trusted to perform various duties.

2. Society – Another Facebook Fan made known the influence of “society”. She presented that women at an early age have to deal with cliques and social pressures. Chat guest, Michael Cross, took it a step further and explained how just recently more athletic opportunities are available for young ladies to work together as a team. Previously, most opportunities were only individual activities where they had to compete against each other. He believes the team concept encourages individuals to work together for shared success; teaching them skills needed to positively interact with one another. Other guest also shared examples of personal experiences with societal divides (cliques) and how it impacted their level of trust for others.

3. Baggage – Several Facebook Fans revealed that insecurities cause some women not to trust each other because they don’t value themselves. Our Chat guest, Rita Massey, agreed with our Facebook Fans and affirmed that baggage (insecurities) prevent us from allowing people to start out with a clean slate. Being cautious is warranted however, baggage should not become a wall that prevents us from initiating relations.

We wrapped up the discussion by allowing each guest to share take home points. Chat participant, Brenda Clifton, disclosed that the conversation exposed some trust influences that she had not even considered. Discovering self worth, not succumbing to societal pressures, and dispelling false ideologies are the beginnings to improving bonds in any relationship. All attendees were on one accord about the necessity to daily renew our minds. We must change our negative thought processes that cause us not to trust one another without just cause.

Now, we want to hear from you!

Which trust influence listed has the greatest impact?

What is another trust influence that can be added as #4?

Please join our conversation and leave your reply below.

The Vine Event Planning
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Our specialty is informative events such as, Q&A parties, screening dialogues, interpersonal workshops, and community forums. We offer both face-to-face and online event designs. Contact us today for a “free” consultation for your next meeting/event.

New Beginnings-The Vine Events Chat Cafe

The Vine Events Chat CafeWith a new year comes new beginnings and The Vine Events is taking our RealTalk events to the next level. This month, we will host our first “The Vine Events Chat Cafe”.

While researching the art of conversation, we ran across the topic of conversation salons and this was our inspiration for Chat Cafe. The conversation salon was an Italian invention in the 16th century. During these gatherings, participants would discuss current events, exchange ideas, and encourage activism.

Our Chat Cafe is for individuals who are seeking a mini break from electronic communication and is interested in engaging in face-to-face dialogue. The Chat Cafe will offer the combination of great food and conversation in a cozy environment. Our chats will not only be informative but, also interactive and encourage open discussion.

So, if you’re looking to examine social issues face-to-face and not behind a user name, we invite you to join us for our monthly Chat Cafe. This will be a great opportunity to expand your knowledge and build relationships with people from diverse backgrounds.

Our first Chat Cafe will be on Saturday, January 19th at 10:00AM in Salisbury, NC. We will be continuing our discussion titled “My Sister Keeper”. Participants from our first discussion in November stated on their evaluations that they wanted to go “deeper” and address each root issue that was identified. We listened and we’re looking forward to more intriguing dialogue.

The cost of this event is $10 per person. To reserve your seat, click on the donate button below. The directions to event location will be emailed to those who RSVP so, please enter your email address on PayPal payment page. Thanks and see you there!

The Vine Event Planning
www.facebook.com/TheVineEventPlanning
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Our specialty is informative events such as, Q&A parties, screening dialogues, interpersonal workshops, and community forums. We offer both face-to-face and online event designs. Contact us today for a “free” consultation for your next meeting/event.

Three Lessons Learned

Business People Thumbs UpWow, another year is coming to an end! We would like to thank all our fans and followers for your support and making this year a success.  We have great things planned for 2013 and we’re looking forward to sharing them with you in the months to come.

Looking back over 2012, we just wanted to share “Three Lessons Learned” during our first full year in business.

1. Build A Community-Within our first full year in business, we learned the importance of community and have built a rapport with our fans, followers, and discussion participants.  The majority of our RealTalk discussion topics and features we added to our social network pages were suggested by our fans/followers.  All their suggestions enabled more interaction and intriguing dialogue within The Vine Events’ family.

2. Embrace Technology-Our team is truly thankful for the tools technology offers. HootSuite became our best friend during our first full year in business. We also connected with some wonderful people around the globe we probably would have never meet if it wasn’t for the wide reach technology offers.  Our connections with other small businesses through social networks was also very beneficial. They offered great advice and encouragement that facilitated our entrepreneur journey.

3. Building A Business Is A Process-The reality that building a business is a process set in early. Our team’s marketing and advertising skills was put to the test during our full first year. Our mindset going in was that we will learn from our mistakes and keep it moving. We didn’t allow pass failures to keep us from trying new and different tactics/techniques. We received much encouragement from other small business owners that was instrumental in keeping us pressing forward and for that we say thanks.

We hope you found our “Three Lessons Learned” to be helpful and encouraging.  We want to hear from you. What lessons have you learned during 2012? Please leave a reply in the comment box. Thanks.

The Vine Event Planning
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Our specialty is informative events such as, Q&A parties, screening dialogues, interpersonal workshops, and community forums.  We offer both face-to-face and online event designs.  Contact us today for a “free” consultation for your next meeting/event.

December – AIDS Awareness Month

world aids day 2012_logo2In 2001, I was diagnosed with HIV which I contracted from my ex-husband who knowingly infected me. I was devastated as well as shocked! I knew HIV was not a death sentence but, I sure did not know how I was going to cope after getting this unexpected diagnosis. Well, I did more than cope, I actually took a stand on HIV by becoming an educator and activist in my community.

No it was not very easy being transparent and allowing others into my personal space but, then I began to realize that it is not about me and there are many others who need to be empowered by someone else’s experience. In 2004, I made the decision to speak out publicly and educate others on prevention of HIV/AIDS and other STDs as well as, how to live healthy productive and fulfilled lives despite adversities.

My desire is to help others understand the importance of avoiding risky behaviors that would result in an HIV positive diagnosis. My goal as an activist is to press the importance of knowing your status by getting tested, empower those who have received a positive diagnosis to love yourself and know that you are not alone, help others get connected with those who are a good support system, and influence communities to get educated to become more aware of prevention measures to avoid a diagnosis of HIV. There are many websites and organizations that provide resources, educational information, and even support. I have listed a few websites below as well as information on how to contact myself. Be encouraged and know that you are never alone.

Alicia HealedLee Diggs

http://iwilllive-healedlee.blogspot.com/

https://www.facebook.com/Aliciahealedleediggs?ref=h

Resources:

http://www.avert.org/

http://www.triadhealthproject.com/

http://aidsmeds.com/

http://poz.com/

http://www.cateincba.com/womenlivingwithhiv/

http://hivtest.cdc.gov/

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RealTalk – My Sister’s Keeper

Thanks to everyone who attended RealTalk – “My Sister’s Keeper” Dinner Chat! The combination of great dialogue and delicious food created a memorable evening.

Many of you who did not attend have personally shared your views with us on this topic. You all expressed the importance of having this conversation and how it’s a start to healing broken relationships among women. However when given an opportunity to share your perspective on our discussion boards, many of you hid in the shadows and remained silent.

As we ponder your choice not to share the wisdom you profoundly shared privately, we asked ourselves why you chose to hide in the shadows? The situation reminds us of a quote from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr – Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

Ladies, in order to improve our relations with each other we must come out of the shadows. We must be willing to  address “root issues” that hinder our relations. Light, which is wisdom, is what drives out darkness. Love is what drives out hate for self and others.

We believe that open and honest dialogue is a portal to change.  We encourage you to let your light shine and openly have this discussion with your girlfriends.  They need to hear your wisdom and your story of struggle and triumph.  Let the healing begin and  let’s propel sisterhood forward!

The Vine Event Planning
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**If you or your organization would like to host an event on this topic, we have an event design just for you! We offer both online and face to face event designs. Contact us today to schedule a “free” event consultation.**