May – Google+ Community Discussion

The Vine Events Chat CafeHave you joined our Google+ Community?

May’s Discussion Topic: Media Responsibility

Current Question: As viewers/consumers do we have a responsibility to hold media accountable?

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One Couple’s Introduction to Shadeism

We gave our Facebook fans an opportunity to share their experiences with shadeism. We selected two articles to post on our blog page. Our second article, written by Tiffani Davis, illustrates a biracial family’s experience with shadeism. It’s a great read and please leave a reply with your thoughts about her experiences.

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My Experience With Shadeism

When I first heard of shadeism, I honestly had never heard of the term before. But after investigating it, I can say that shadeism is alive and well! In some cases, even more so then racism. I personally have had many experiences where my skin tone stood out in some way; negative and positive.

We are a biracial family. My husband being Hispanic and White, and I myself being Black, West Indian decent. We have four beautiful children. Color, tone, race…Is never emphasized in our home, but we sure do experience it a lot in the outside world!

When I had my first born, she was fairly lighter then me, and when out in public many people would ask me who’s child she was or if I was babysitting! It was insulting and scary to say the least. Although my daughter favors her father, she does have many of my facial features. The fact that people could not see past the tone of our skin threw me back. I mean what year was this?? Are people still stuck on color??

When my husband and I got together at the age of 15, his family (Hispanic side) was very unhappy with whom he brought home (me). This was the first time I experienced racism. It confused the hell out me! Here we were young, in love and color blind, had no idea that this was going to be a problem. My confusion was to the fact that I was a “minority” and so was his family…What was the problem? I was not light enough, I was not what they wanted for him. I had no idea the color of my skin could cause such disrespect.

Today we still get second looks when we are all out together. We laugh, we smile and wave. We are not bothered anymore by the ignorance of others.

We teach our children to see past color, to embrace the beauty and difference of us all. When people ask our children what race they are they say “human”!

Tiffani Davis – Guest Blogger and Owner of Tiffy’s Corner

http://www.tiffyscorner.weebly.com

Click here to join our Google+ Community, The Vine Events Chat Cafe, to see what others are saying about shadeism.

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No Color Barriers

We gave our Facebook fans an opportunity to share their experiences with shadeism. We selected two articles to post on our blog page. The first article, written by Brandy Hudson Morton, exposes that shadeism has no color barriers. It’s a great read and please leave a reply with your thoughts about her experiences.

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No Color Barriers

The urban dictionary defines shadeism as “to judge or be against a person because of their skin tone rather than their race”. A lot of people think of shadeism as an issue amongst people of color. I would challenge that thought and say that shadeism is a form of discrimination that exists in all races of all nations. A review of history will show that fair or pale skin has long been judged as the more beautiful or sought after pigmentation. However, my experience has not been quite the same in my own race. My whole life I have dealt with issues of racism, beginning as far back as I can remember learning to talk. While racism was always a form of shadeism in the fact that many people within my race viewed our race as somehow superior than others; my experiences solely with shadeism did not begin until I was in middle school. In middle school, it was like a reverse of history. The people of my own race, the people who looked most like me, suddenly wanted to be darker and spent a lot of money to get tan. I have always had a fair complexion, even compared to my family members. In fact when my children first started talking about skin color they both wanted to know why I was peach and everyone else was tan. In the seventh grade, I felt pressured to try to fry my skin to become tan as well. Red headed freckled girls do not tan well, in case you were wondering. I would burn, peel and be in pain only to try again. I even covered myself in baby oil and laid in the sun until I had sun poisoning and became sick. It wasn’t until I was older that I realized I would forever be pale. Even now, after so many years, people still tell me I need a tan.

My more serious experiences with shadeism though occurred when I had children. My children are of mixed race and even among mixed people; which we all are mixed people in one form or another, shadeism runs deep. My first child was dark. As she got older, she had trouble with her identity. People of color did not accept her because she was not dark enough. White people did not accept her because she was a person of color. I, as her mother, according to her, could not possibly understand because I wasn’t like her. Even today, she is divided because she felt she had to choose a side of the spectrum to relate more to, even though neither side accepts who she is. My son is lighter and most people assume he is white or Mexican, yet he still can’t be mine because he is not like me either. The three of us together are quite the spectrum or spectacle depending on who you ask. It is odd how different their skin tones are, yet even ten years apart, they ask the same questions about their friends and skin color. When my daughter was in first grade, she never before considered (at least not out loud) that she was different from her parents or her friends. I will never forget the day she came home crying because her favorite friend wasn’t allowed to play with her anymore because she was brown and her friend was not. My son was in the third grade. It was 12 years after my daughter’s first incident when he started asking me why his friends didn’t think I was his mother. I picked him up from school and one little boy told me I couldn’t be my son’s mother because my son was tan and I was not. Then there is always the story of how my children wanted to connect my freckles so I would be the same color as them. There are so many more stories, but I think you can see my point.

My prayer for us all is that not only will we realize that color and shade does not make a person any less valuable, but that we realize that no matter what our color or shade, we all have similar struggles. The sooner we stop judging each other and segregating ourselves, and start helping each other, the more freedom we will obtain. We may have different skin tones, but we don’t have different hearts. God called us to love one another, he didn’t say “love one another based on skin tones”.

Brandy Morton Hudson – Guest Blogger

Click here to join our Google+ Community, The Vine Events Chat Cafe, to see what others are saying about shadeism.

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We’re Growing – New Google + Community

We want to invite you to join our Google + Community at The Vine Events Chat Cafe. This is a new community where we discuss social issues with the intent of moving forward personally and collectively on the issues. Our current discussion topic is shadeism.  Shadeism (also known as colorism) is discrimination based on skin tones among members of the same community. We hosted a screening dialogue of documentary short “Shadeism” on February 16th and we’re giving those who couldn’t attend an opportunity to contribute to the discussion. So, click here and join the conversation!

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View “Shadeism” new documentary extension trailer below. Click here to contribute to their current production campaign.

 

Shadeism Screening Dialogue

The Vine Events Chat CafeJoin us for dinner and a movie on Saturday, February 16th at 6:30pm in Salisbury, NC.  The Vine Events Chat Cafe will be hosting a screening dialogue of “Shadeism”.

“Shadeism” is a documentary short film that introduces the issue of shadeism (also known as colorism); discrimination based on skin tones among members of the same community. The documentary explores shadeism origins and its affects within various cultures around the globe.  It also introduces how we can foster collective and personal healing through dialogue and discussion.

The cost of this event is $10/person. To reserve your seat click on “Donate” button below. Directions to event location will be emailed to those who RSVP so, please enter your email address on PayPal payment page.  **Note: You don’t need a Paypal Account to make payment.**

We want to hear from you. Have you ever experienced shadeism? What contributes to this aspect within your community/culture? Please leave your reply below. Thanks

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Chat Cafe – My Sister’s Keeper Part 2

The Vine Events Chat CafeYesterday, we hosted our first The Vine Events Chat Cafe. Focusing on “trust”, we continued our discussion about why some women can’t get along with one another. We addressed three areas shared by our Facebook Fan Discussion that have the potential to shape our perspectives and therefore influence our trust.

1. Traditional Teachings – One of our Facebook Fans, kicked off our online discussion by challenging women to evaluate their ideologies. Her challenge introduced our first trust influence “traditional teachings”. Our Chat attendee, Kay Wright, shared her experience of growing up in the Christian Church and witnessing first hand how women were not allowed to serve in certain capacities. The double standard between men and women reflected for her that women could not be trusted to perform various duties.

2. Society – Another Facebook Fan made known the influence of “society”. She presented that women at an early age have to deal with cliques and social pressures. Chat guest, Michael Cross, took it a step further and explained how just recently more athletic opportunities are available for young ladies to work together as a team. Previously, most opportunities were only individual activities where they had to compete against each other. He believes the team concept encourages individuals to work together for shared success; teaching them skills needed to positively interact with one another. Other guest also shared examples of personal experiences with societal divides (cliques) and how it impacted their level of trust for others.

3. Baggage – Several Facebook Fans revealed that insecurities cause some women not to trust each other because they don’t value themselves. Our Chat guest, Rita Massey, agreed with our Facebook Fans and affirmed that baggage (insecurities) prevent us from allowing people to start out with a clean slate. Being cautious is warranted however, baggage should not become a wall that prevents us from initiating relations.

We wrapped up the discussion by allowing each guest to share take home points. Chat participant, Brenda Clifton, disclosed that the conversation exposed some trust influences that she had not even considered. Discovering self worth, not succumbing to societal pressures, and dispelling false ideologies are the beginnings to improving bonds in any relationship. All attendees were on one accord about the necessity to daily renew our minds. We must change our negative thought processes that cause us not to trust one another without just cause.

Now, we want to hear from you!

Which trust influence listed has the greatest impact?

What is another trust influence that can be added as #4?

Please join our conversation and leave your reply below.

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Our specialty is informative events such as, Q&A parties, screening dialogues, interpersonal workshops, and community forums. We offer both face-to-face and online event designs. Contact us today for a “free” consultation for your next meeting/event.