RealTalk-Reality TV’s Impact on Women’s Image

Many of us are regular viewers of the various reality television shows such as House Wives, Basketball Wives and Hollywood Exes. As a viewer, have you ever considered the impact these shows have on the image of women? Is it strictly entertainment, or does reality TV have the power to shape and influence one’s perspective? These questions and many more were answered during RealTalk LIVE online discussion on August 21st.

Nicole Daniels, a licensed marriage and family therapist, was our event moderator and presented some intriguing information. She opened up the discussion with the question, “What impact do you think reality TV has on women’s image?” Most of the attendees stated that, for them, it was strictly entertainment and they had not truly considered it’s impact. However, everyone did agree that most of the women on the shows were catty and combative.

One participant stated that they felt the majority of the show’s viewers were forty plus women and at that age they should be secure in who they are and not be influenced by what they see on television. Daniels quickly pointed out that many of the networks that broadcast these shows are not targeting adults; they’re audience are tweens and teens, which are an impressionable segment.

Another attendee, who has teenage daughters, openly shared how she blocked one of the networks on her television. She began to notice a change in her children’s behavior and decided to sit down with them and discuss how young ladies and women should present themselves. She strongly agreed that reality television has the ability to shape one’s perspective. Daniels encouraged parents in attendance to closely monitor the images their children or seeing on television and to talk to them about it.

Our only male participant was very insightful and presented to the group another impact of reality television. He was concerned about how men were being portrayed as well. He stated that looking at Love and HipHop, someone may get the impression that most men are womanizers. He shared that the show is a good example of how men in a relationship will do what their partner allows; women need to have high standards and expectations.

Daniels closed the discussion by pointing out the fact that as viewers we have a responsibility. If we want to see more positive images on television, we need to view and support the shows that display those images.

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Nicole Daniels owns and operates Family First Psychotherapy Services LLC (FFPS) in White Plains, Maryland. For more information about FFPS and their services, visit their website at http://www.familyfirstpsych.com/.

Creating Your Legacy

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August: What Will Be Your Legacy?

How do you question your legacy? Before you make decisions, do you consider how your actions will affect others? Do you weigh the impact that your choices will have on the future generations? If you don’t ponder these questions daily, then August will be the perfect month to start. August is “What Will Be Your Legacy” month. It is a time to examine the effectiveness of your life and plan what will be your legacy.

Leaving behind a legacy can be simple. You don’t have to succeed at ensuring world peace, or single handedly solving world issues. Nor do you have to possess something tangible of great value to pass on to your descendants. You can leave a legacy, simply by being a good friend or example. You never know who is watching you, or who you will inspire with your actions. To imprint your legacy upon others, merely live life to its fullest, take advantage of opportunities, and watch how you change lives one positive action at a time.

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Self-Segregation Among Youth

We have this image that friendships in schools today are all High School Musical HSM…

The odds of a white high schooler having a best friend of another race are actually only about 8 percent. And the story isn’t much better for minorities either. For black kids, 85 percent of their best friends are black, too.

The long-accepted solution to this problem has been school diversity, but the science is quite clear that this solution has failed to fix the problem. As schools get more diverse, kids tend to self-segregate more. With this said, kids in more diverse schools end up not having more friends of other races. Also, kids in diverse schools do not necessarily have better racial attitudes; instead, they commonly have worse.

Fifty-five years after Brown v. Board, why do kids choose to self-segregate? Why do they accept it?

In NEWSWEEK magazine, research suggested that part of the problem stems from white parents’ refusal to talk to their young children about race and ethnicity. This inadvertently teaches children that race is a “TABOO” topic.

Now let’s talk about an overlooked self-segregation factor at work on the “black side” of the divide ─ popularity.

Popularity is almost NEVER part of the conversation society has about race. But if you think about it for a moment, all kids are trying to develop an identity. Race and ethnicity are part of the identity equation but how popular you are and whether other kids like you are also part of every child’s emerging identity.

Most kids want a taste of popularity ─ or at least they don’t want to be unpopular ─ and when popularity interacts with race there are some surprising results.

That’s according to a forthcoming paper by Philip Rodkin and Travis Wilson, then scholars at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.

Rodkin and Wilson surveyed 757 kids at nine elementary schools scattered across central Illinois. The kids were quite young; most were in the third and fourth grades, with a handful in the second and fifth grades. This provided Rodkin and Wilson a chance to see how social forces interacted with racial identity at an early age and when it was still in the formation stage.

While we think of popularity as a phenomenon of junior highs and high schools, it’s clearly measurable soon after elementary school begins. The classrooms ranged in their diversity ─ in some, blacks were a small minority; in others, the clear majority. (Note: Some of the classes also included Hispanic children; however, in their first analysis of the data, the scholars report only on the white and black children, since they make up most of the children surveyed.)

In each classroom, the researchers asked kids to name their best friends, to list who else was in their group of friends, and identify other kids who hung out in groups together. Then they asked kids to say who they liked to play with, who they didn’t like. They got the lowdown on which kids in class were the most popular, and who were the outcasts. The kids told them who was really nice and helpful, and which kids were mean, spreading rumors or getting into fights all the time.

Importantly, none of Rodkin’s questions had anything to do with the kids’ race or ethnicity. There was nothing in study that should have primed the children to think about race ─ their own or the other kids. (Note: The scholars learned the kids’ ethnicity from school records; they didn’t ask the kids.)

Nevertheless, the scholars are finding stunning racial patterns in the kids’ responses.

They found that black kids who self-segregate ─ who only hang out with other blacks ─ are more popular than black kids who have white friends.

This means that an average black student could increase her popularity by hanging out with other black students. Meanwhile, if she chooses to have white friends, she could put her popularity at risk. Many kids don’t have the social capital or confidence to make this tradeoff.

When the scholars ran the analysis a second time, substituting how much kids were liked for how popular they were, a similar troubling pattern emerged. Black kids who self-segregated were liked by more black children. Having white friends decreased a black child’s “likeability” ─ at least in the eyes of other black children.

For white children, in contrast, self-segregating hurt their popularity.

Now, “self-protection” is the traditional explanation offered for why black children self-segregate. Fearing inevitable discrimination and rejection, they withdraw to feel safe. But, if that was the whole story, self-segregation would vanish in more diverse schools. Rodkin found that this dynamic interplay between popularity and self-segregation didn’t disappear when black kids were in the majority ─ in fact it increased.

So withdrawal might be what initially triggers black children to self-segregate, but once the social rules are in place ─ certainly by third grade, according to this study ─ the forces of popularity help perpetuate the phenomenon. Black children are rewarded, socially, for avoiding white kids.

At first glance, this research paints a depressing picture. But its insights provide an important clue for how to address school self-segregation. It’s telling us that school interventions need to target the popular kids, first and foremost. All kids key off the social cues that popular kids emanate. The popular kids should be pulled aside and recruited to set a good example. Functionally, that would be asking them to put their popularity at risk, but many have the surplus of social influence to pull it off. And once they set a new tone, others would follow.

Rodkin, too, is not depressed by his results. Overall, black students were more popular than white students. And both the white and black kids in his study agreed which black kids were popular. “Popularity is a social construction,” explains Rodkin. “People collectively agree that you’re on top ─ which kids have influence, which kids set the social standards.” Twenty or thirty years ago, no black kids would have been seen as popular by white kids ─ and few black kids would have had social influence. Black kids would not have been setting the social standard, school-wide. Now they are.

Maybe it’s time to put that social influence toward some good.

Trent Phillips – Entrepreneur/Community Activist

Source -“Newsweek Magazine” – September 2009.

Following up on Men’s Health Month…

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RealTalk – Self Segregation

On Sunday, July 22, 2012, The Vine Event Planning hosted its fourth discussion in its Real Talk-Taboo Series at the Southern City Community Development center in East Spencer, NC.

A group of people gathered to discuss the issue of self-segregation and how it affects their lives. The group was split into three subgroups which were facilitated by Nicole Sherrill-Corry, Ph.D.; Latesha Smith, MBA; and Minster Kay Boyd.

Dr. Sherrill-Corry discussed with her group the primary reasons why people choose to segregate themselves from other groups. Some of these reasons included being comfortable with one’s own race, level of education and tradition.

Smith led a group discussion that asked its participates to think about their social network outside of work and what they share in common with these people. Most of the group members found that they had interests, hobbies, and religions in common. However, this discussion spiraled into one that questioned self-segregation found within school systems. A college and high school student attending the event, shared their personal experiences with self-segregation at their schools.

Minister Boyd ‘s group talked about self-segregation within the faith community. Boyd provided two case studies that demonstrated how the absence of self-segregation can be detrimental to a congregation. For example, a black Presbyterian church that is under the authority of a predominately white Presbyterian church struggled to raise money and depended on the main church for funding. In contrast, a black Baptist church was able to grow and raise their own money because they had autonomy over how they ran their congregation.

“Self-segregation is still a prevalent issue, so what can we do to make it better,” Dr. Sherrill-Corry asked. Smith and Boyd asked the same question and all three facilitators stressed the importance of the community being able to come together and tackle the negative effects of this issue.

The Vine Event Planning’s next RealTalk-Taboo Series event will be on Tuesday, August 21st, 2012. It will be a LIVE online event discussing the impact of reality television on the image of women. The event moderator will be Nicole Daniels, who is a licensed clinical marriage and family therapist. Nicole owns and operates Family First Psychotherapy Services LLC (FFPS) in White Plains, Maryland. For more information about FFPS and their services, visit their website at http://www.familyfirstpsych.com/index.html.

Desere’ Cross
University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
Journalism and Communication Studies Major
Class of 2014

Let the tickling begin…National Tickling Month

Are you extremely sensitive to touch? If someone tickles you, do you laugh uncontrollable until tears come to your eyes? If you answered yes to either of these two questions, you might want to be extremely cautious during the month of July. July is National Tickling Month, so stay clear of sneaky hands and suspicious fingers.

Tickling is the sensation someone gets from anticipating getting touched; it is your bodily senses unconsciously reacting to touch. According to WiseGeek.com, there are two types of “tickle” that can be felt by humans. There is knismesis, which is felt my lightly touching the skin and then a “tickle” called gargalesis, caused by repeatedly applying pressure to “ticklish” areas. Knismesis can be self-induced because it does not rely heavily on the element of surprise in order to be effective. Gargalesis on the other hand, is hard to self inflict because it requires that the tickling be unexpected.

Tickling has been deemed as one of the highest forms of social play. Because tickling involves intimacy and cognitive interaction, tickling can become a bonding activity between two people. Take for example, the bond shared between a child and a parent when the parent tickles the child. Or the playfulness exchanged between two siblings or significant others when tickling occur.

Now that you know a little more about the kinetics of tickling and its psychological effects, take this new found information and enjoy the remaining month of July. This month, if you see someone feeling a little down, give them a tickle or two and wish them a Happy Tickling Month. For more information about tickling, visit http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-knismesis.htm.

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July: National Purposely Parenting Month

As we all know, parenting is a job that comes without an instruction manual. It’s a position that requires on the job training. The month of July commemorates National Purposely Parenting Month. This month we would like to encourage parents and guardians to strengthen the bond between themselves and their children regardless of their age.

Our first relational experience is with our parents. Parents have the ability to shape the lives of their children by establishing boundaries, instilling values, and building self-esteem. How most adults relate to others is usually a direct reflection of the relationship they had/have with their parents. Parents have to lead and teach through example. They cannot have expectations of their children that they’re not willing to assume for themselves.

Parents and guardians, during this month, engage in activities that will enhance your relationship with your children. It could be something as simple as sitting down and having dinner together. This time could be used to allow each family member to share their experiences of the day. For more family activity ideas please visit http://www.ehow.com/info_7895695_list-activities-family.html.

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